CDKitchen 100 Challenge: Recipe 1: Grandma's Sweet Rolls

...Grandma?

I'm pretty sure when the recipe for "Grandma's Sweet Rolls" was uploaded to CDKitchen, they didn't have this lady in mind (although she would've made for a pretty cool Grandma to bring to show-n-tell...) Nevertheless, I've never made sweet rolls before so the recipe (to me) might as well have come from that old lady from Dinosaurs.

Grandma's Sweet Rolls

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup of sugar (check)
• 1/2 cup of vegetable oil (check)
• 2 teaspoons salt (check)
• 2 packages dry yeast (check)
• 2/3 cup milk (check)
• ...scalded (check...)
• cooled (check...)
• and don't burn yourself (OW! ...check!)
• 2/3 cup lukewarm water (ahhh...I mean, check)
• 2 eggs, beaten (not stirred)
• 5 cups flour

To follow the directions precisely, we start with the yeast: tear up the two packages into a bowl...
and pour in half the water with a pinch of sugar. Set that bad boy aside. I had to mix it up and it started to clump; do not worry (I think), this'll just go away if you stir it around for a bit. As for the water, that bit was confusing and involved a bit of math: how much is 1/2 of 2/3rds anyway? I just poured two 1/3rds into a 1 cup and then poured half of that into the bowl.

...And prayed.

Meanwhile, my milk overrunneth.

Ahhh!

Oh, ew, this is what happens when you don't watch your milk. You get this brown thing that mocks you with its putrid brown-ness.

Yeah, we're just gonna set that aside and pretend it never happened.

...Because it didn't.

Combine the cooled off milk, oil, sugar, salt, and remaining water.

Yeah, that doesn't look so good...

Stir in one cup of flour...

Then add the eggs (that I have beaten, mwahaha)

...and yeast mixture.

and I'm supposed to eat this eventually...

Mix in the remaining 4 cups of flour, and mix it around until it feels more like cement mixture than edible dough.

Clean off your work stations, boys and girls. Feel free to use either a disinfectant wipe ala Swine Flu fear, or if you're green, white vinegar works just fine too. And if you're me: a simple wet towel does the trick. Dry it off and dust with flour.

Slam that dough onto the counter

...and begin giving it a 2-minute massage it'll taunt its other girlfriends with.

"oh honey, I know -- men! pfft."

Roll it up in a cute little ball, and put it into a greased bowl to sit its timeout in.

You're not gonna remember a thing, heh heh heh.

Now, we gotta wait about 45 minutes (let's go watch House!)

Mmmm.... House.

Ding! 45 Minutes is up, which means you have to punch like it owes you money, and then when it comes back for more, you have several options to do with your dough:

• Bake it into a variety of things, such as "sandwich buns" or "sweet rolls" for cinnamon and jelly, as per suggestion of CDKitchen.
• Save it and freeze it, like how I'm going to for my next recipe post dealing with Bear Claws.
• Go after its family in order to give the message across that you're not joking around. 'Cause you're not.
  

Come back tomorrow when I make chocolate bear claws out of Grandma's Sweet Roll Dough, nom, nom nom.

Some notes: This dough seems rather thick and heavy; I'm not sure if this is normal, since I'm not accustomed to handling dough. And the dough didn't seem to rise that much so I'm a little anxious that I either did something wrong or if there's something missing from the recipe. Anyone have a comment on this?

(Recipe found here: Grandma's Sweet Rolls, via CDKitchen)